After that day, my life was never the same because her own situation was worst than mine, but she was better than me in the act of speaking out, which made me promise myself to tell my mum everything that happened to me and blessing.
A week passed after my visit to Juliet's house and the promise I made to myself, Juliet was no more longer coming online because she went back to school and the school she goes to don't allow phones.
I wake up one morning and started thinking of how to tell my mum everything.
I was like "I will say it like this__'Mum, remember that time when I was at home with step dad, well mum he he__' ooo I can't say it that way, it won't be okay".
I tried so many ways but I couldn't select the right way to tell her, I managed to put myself together, then said to myself as I walked to my mum's room __"I can do this, all I have to do is just to tell her everything that happened, it's not so hard".
I walked with all boldness, but as I got to the front of my mum's room, I stopped and I said to myself __"Esther are you mad? mum will kill you if she hears it, remember the time you fainted in school and she was said 'why didn't you hold yourself'".
--Let me tell you guys the story of how my mum said those words to me. There was a time, I and my friends were playing in school, suddenly I fainted, so my teacher called my mum. When she came to see me; shouted at me, she said "why didn't you hold yourself instead of fainting and disgracing yourself"__ I felt so hurt that day--.
After that thoughts came to my head, I turned back immediately and moved.
"I can't do this, I totally can't do this", I said those words walking away from my mum's room, going back to my room to cry.
In the evening I was calm and cool, so I made up my mind to try again to tell my mum, I decided to write a letter. As I wrote the letter, I got more and more afraid that she might shout at me, i later decided to change my letter writing into text message.
My new plan was to send what happened to me to my mum's phone as an sms, so that before she gets back home, all her anger will be gone, but I later thought of it then said to myself__"what if it multiplies her anger? no way I won't send it".
I remembered juliet and how she told her parents about what happened to her, even if they didn't believe her. I made up my mind again and i managed to send her the sms.
30mins later my mum came back, I was siting in the parlour when she arrived.
When she opened the door, I saw her face filled with anger; as if she was going to kill someone, I started shaking like someone which had been electrocuted, but I wasn't sure what made her so angry.
I was about to greet her, when she said__"Where is blessing?".
Inside me, I said__"Chai!, she knows, I am dead ooo".
I told her that blessing was sleeping, she went straight to my room and I was totally afraid. When she out of my room, I was expecting her to shout at me, but she only just said__"Why did you not buy the clothes I asked you to buy for blessing?".
At first I was like__"huh!"__, I was confused but then I remembered she gave me some money before she left in the morning, to buy cloths for blessing.
So i said__"oh sorry mum, I forgot".
She looked at me saying nothing and went straight to her room, immediately she left the parlour, I picked up my phone to check whether she got the message or not. When I check it, the message was delivered to her, I then started thinking whether she read it or not.
Few minutes later she called me, I ran like a horse to her room, but was afraid to enter because of the way she call my name, which sounded like an angry lion. When I got into her room, I was totally afraid.
She said__ "Esther, where is that small phone that I gave you to keep?".
In my mind, i was like__"phone ke, ain't you ought to be shouting at me or talking about the text I sent to you"?.
I then said__"Ah mum, what about your phone? Is it faulty?.
She replied__"It was stolen in the market and the worst thing that got me angry, was that the person I gave money to buy a new shoe for me lost the money".
After hearing that, I was totally relieved and calm. "Thank God she didn't read the message if not, I am gone", so I thought.
Days turned to weeks and weeks turned into a month, but I wasn't able to tell my mum because of the fear I had of her, and her reactions towards what I would say.
There came a Sunday when I went to church, after the church service things became different for me, what the pastor preached about was for me, he talked about being brave to face fear and how to over come every obstacle, I went home that day feeling strong and bold.
Ruth came in the afternoon (she normally comes every sunday to visit us), my mum and Ruth where in the parlour watching tv, while my junior sis was in my room sleeping (that girl likes sleep ehn)
I came to the parlour and stood in front of the tv, Ruth said__ "Esther, why are you blocking our view?".
I replied with tears in my eyes __"Mummy I want to tell you something that happened to me and Blessing".
I told my mum everything that happened, from how we were sold to the land lord's sons and how my step dad raped me, I told her every little thing. We all started crying as I spoke, Ruth begged and begged me to forgive her for all what she did to me and blessing.
My mum was heartbroken because she didn't believe that Ruth could behave like that, to her junior ones and that man(step dad) could rape me, but she never accepted her mistake of not always being there to protect us.
Ruth asked my mum, whether we could tell Blessing about what happened to her, but my mum refused and said__"We can't tell her now, she is too young to understand, when she gets old enough we will tell her".
After that day, my life became settled and my soul found rest, my nightmare was no more because all my worries were gone. My life improved and all my tears turned into songs of joy.
Me, Blessing and Ruth became closer than ever and I found my inner peace, but I am not sure whether Juliet found her inner peace or not, I pray she does before it clouds her soulful beautiful mind.
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